This workshop is scheduled for Saturday, May 22 from 9:30am-4:30pm at our house in Arlington. For more information and registration for this and our other three workshops (each focused on a different age group), please visit our Spring-Summer Workshop Series page.

This workshop is scheduled for Saturday, April 3 from 9:30am-4:30pm at our house in Arlington. For more information and registration for this and our other three workshops (each focused on a different age group), please visit our Spring-Summer Workshop Series page.

Our Spring-Summer Workshop Series runs from March-July. Each workshop is offered two times:

Teens in Transition: Understanding the Challenges of Loss in Adolescents
March 6, 2010 | May 22, 2010

If We Lost Uncle David, Why Can’t We Go Find Him? Strategies for Talking with Young Children about Death, Dying and Loss
March 13, 2010 | July 19, 2010

Fostering Resiliency in Children Coping with Death, Illness and Other Losses
March 20, 2010 | July 20, 2010

Supporting Young Adults Coping with Loss
April 3, 2010 | July 21, 2010

For workshop descriptions, fees, and registration information, please visit our Spring-Summer Workshop Series page.

1. Bereavement Camps for Kids: Benefits and Challenges – February 1, 1:00-2:30pm ET
2. Bereaved Children & Adolescents: Lessons from Research – April 14, 1:00-2:30pm ET
3. Grieving Children & Adolescents: The Role of Internet Support – June 15, 1:00-2:30pm ET

The series will be hosted by nationally-known expert Kenneth Doka, Senior Bereavement Consultant to HFA.  The webinars will look at lessons learned, emerging trends, and how to use bereavement camps and other strategies to best serve grieving children in their communities.

For more information about topics, speakers, fees, and registration, please visit the HFA website page for Helping Children & Adolescents Cope with Grief & Loss Webinars.

We are also very proud to announce that the Hospice Foundation of America will be featuring artwork from The Children’s Room in their companion book and program for their 2010 National Bereavement Teleconference – Living with Grief: Cancer and End-of-Life Care.  To see the program cover, you can visit the HFA Teleconference page.

The Hospice Foundation of America provides education and information to help people cope with terminal illness, death, and the process of grief.  They offer resources for both professionals and individuals including brochures, books, dvds, webinars, and courses.

Our next topic is on dating and marrying after a loss.

Everyone is different, and our parents will talk about making decisions about dating.  Taking the next step and remarrying is a important moment in your life, so come hear what other parents have to say about taking the plunge.

The public is welcome to attend, admission is free, and RSVPs are essential so we may plan.  Email info@childrensroom.org.

The workshop takes place at The Children’s Room headquarters, 1210 Massachusetts Avenue, Arlington.

The Keynote Speaker for the event is one of the founding board members of The Children’s Room Phyllis Silverman who will present on the topic of How Our Views Have Changed. Phyllis continues to research current issues on child bereavement and leads the research committee at The Children’s Room.  The committee is comprised of professionals from Tufts University, Wheelock College, Harvard University and other programs.

Program Director Donna Sharff and Program Manager Colleen Shannon will present an interactive and inspiring workshop session on The Heart of Grief: Facilitating Creative Arts Expression in Grieving Children and Teenagers.

The day long conference concludes with a performance by The Children’s Room Teen Performance Troupe.

For more information on the conference, visit the Simmons website.

Words That Don’t Help

We have all been hurt by people saying or doing the wrong things in response to the tragic loss of a loved one.  It often times makes things more difficult and can cause more pain and anger.  Some common examples are:

“You are the man of the house now and you need to take care of your mother”
“How are you?”
“Your loved one is at peace now.”
“God gives you what you can handle.”
“I know exactly how you feel.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“They are in a better place.”
“You need to be strong for the kids.”

We all agreed that people in general don’t know what to say, so often times they say the wrong things and these comments can be very hurtful.  There are words that can heal and there are words that hurt.  People are not trying to be malicious but they are uncomfortable around you and often times say the wrong things.

Words That Help

There are many things that can be said that will help and here is a list of them.
“I don’t know what to say”
“I am thinking about you”
“I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers”
“I am here for you”
“I don’t know how you feel but I am here to help in any way I can”.

Sometimes a hug or a gesture of kindness is better than saying anything.  Don’t wait for the person to ask for help.  Do something that you think will help even if you are not asked.  Actions speak louder than words.

Take the children out and give the mother or father a little rest.

Sit with the person and just let them talk about their loved one and don’t try and offer any advice.  Don’t be afraid to admit that you feel helpless and you don’t know what to say or do.

Being honest with children is difficult, and an important part of our work at The Children’s Room is to work with adults to help them with the language, tools and strategies that they need in their day-to-day dealings with all children.  Teachers, counselors, coaches and nurses have all found our workshops and presentations to be helpful in developing these skills.

This workshop will provide counselors with the tools of language and strategies, from a developmental perspective, to help children and adolescents understand, grieve and remember as they go on with life after a loss. Giving students the opportunity to develop and strengthen coping skills empowers them to cope with future losses.

To join them at the conference April 29th to May 1st, 2009, visit MASCA’s website for more information.  To learn about how The Children’s Room can bring this type of workshop to your school or conference, visit our workshop section.