Navigating Special Days like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day & Other Milestones While Grieving
As spring arrives, so do reminders of Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and graduation season. For many, these are joyful days of recognition and celebration. But for those who are grieving, these moments can bring a mix of feelings that can be complicated and personal.
At The Children’s Room, we know these days can be hard. No matter the special day being marked, or the feelings that come up around it, there are some things that can be done to remember the person who died while also taking into consideration the uniqueness of what each individual or family may need.
Remember, there is no single “right” way to grieve or mark these occasions. Some may want to surround themselves with family or friends, while others may need time and space alone. Some may choose to create new traditions or revisit old ones. Some may blend old and new traditions together. What matters is giving yourself and those around you permission to do what feels supportive.
If you are grieving this season or supporting someone who is, here are a few things to keep in mind:
The lead-up can be harder than the day itself. Take time to recognize that anticipation can heighten emotions. Build in comfort and care in the days leading up to the celebration or milestone.
Make a plan (and stay flexible because you can always change your mind). It might help to decide ahead of time how your family would like to spend the day. Some options include:
- Watching a favorite movie of the person who died
- Cooking a meal they loved
- Visiting a special place
- Starting a new tradition
- Opting out entirely – it’s ok to choose to do nothing
Talk openly with children and teens. Children and teens may have different ideas about how (or if) they want to acknowledge the day. Consider making compromises or asking for help from friends or family, if needed.
- Check in with schools and teachers ahead of time about planned activities.
- Remind kids: It’s okay to want to celebrate, and it’s also okay not to.
- It’s okay if siblings don’t agree on what to do.
- There can be space for children to do things individually as well as a family.
Be prepared for other opinions. You may get messages from family and friends about what the day should look or feel like, or strangers may unexpectedly ask questions. Alternatively, the day might pass by with little acknowledgement from others. Think ahead about what kinds of support you might want to navigate either scenario.
- Consider how you’d like to respond to questions.
- Talk with your children about ways that they can respond if classmates ask questions.
Consider social media. If posts about the day feel overwhelming, it’s okay to take a break. Alternatively, maybe this can be a way to remember the person who died by sharing a story or pictures. Again, there is no right or wrong way, and you get to decide if/how you engage.
Do something for yourself. Whether it’s a walk, a quiet morning, time with friends, or volunteering for a meaningful cause, make space for what brings you joy and helps you take care of yourself.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and it doesn’t end, even if a loss occurred many years ago. Taking time to consider special days like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, graduations, and other milestones can be important as you continue to navigate grief over time. However you choose to approach commemoration, we hope that you give yourself the room to do what feels right for you and your family in this moment. At The Children’s Room, we remain committed to ensuring that no child, teen, or family has to grieve alone. If you’d like support or to learn more about our programs or resources, please reach out here.
