The holiday season can be an especially challenging time for families who are grieving the death of someone important to them. While the world around us may be celebrating, families who are grieving feel the absence of their person deeply. It’s a time when many emotions can surface, and finding ways to honor the person who died can help create moments of connection and reflection—especially when children and teens are involved.
Here are some thoughtful and meaningful ways for families to come together and remember their person during the holiday season.
Creative Ideas for Honoring Their Person
Create a Memory Box
Invite family members, including children and teens, to gather items that remind them of the person who died—photos, letters, mementos, or drawings. Creating a memory box together can open up conversations and shared memories, allowing everyone to reflect on what their person meant to them.
Special Holiday Decoration
Consider making or setting up a special holiday decoration in memory of your person. It could be a personalized ornament, a candle, or a photo display that holds a significant place in your home during the season. Involving everyone in creating this decoration can be a meaningful way to honor the person and feel connected as a family.
Remembrance Dinner or Gathering
Bringing family and friends together for a remembrance dinner is another way to honor your person. Whether it’s sharing stories, lighting a candle, or making their favorite meal, this gathering can be a time of reflection and connection. It’s a way to ensure that their memory remains a part of your holiday traditions.
Holiday Tradition with a Twist
You might find comfort in weaving your person’s memory into existing traditions. This could be making a favorite recipe, listening to music they loved, or watching a movie that was special to them. Incorporating their memory into these traditions can bring a sense of continuity and comfort, keeping them close during the holidays.
Creating New Traditions
If it feels right, creating new traditions in memory of your person can offer a sense of renewal and hope. This could involve volunteering in their honor, planting a tree, or writing notes to your person that are shared during a holiday moment. These new traditions can help families create new memories while keeping their person at the heart of the season.
Planning Together as a Family
Hold a family discussion in advance regarding the upcoming holiday, and include input and ideas from all family members. Be flexible—family members often have different ways of grieving and coping, so discuss together ideas about how to compromise. Be open to following what is right for your family, which might or might not align with what was done in the past, and try to be gentle with yourself in meeting your family’s needs rather than traditions or expectations of others.
Once you decide on a plan, communicate it clearly so that others understand, and let them know if there are specific ways that they can support or assist you in those intentions. Finally, leave room for flexibility to check in with your family members and shift the plan on the day of the holiday. Anticipations of a holiday, milestone, or anniversary can sometimes feel different than the actual day and event itself.
The Importance of Involving Children and Teens
Including children and teens in these activities is more than just a way to honor the person who died—it offers them a safe space to express their emotions about the upcoming holiday, anniversary, or event and feel connected with their family members. Grief can often feel unpredictable and lonely, and these shared experiences help open up supportive family discussions about feelings, memories, and needs for support from one another.
When families come together to honor their person, it reinforces the idea that grief is shared and supported, creating a stronger bond for everyone involved.
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There is no single “right” way to honor your person during the holidays. Whether through small gestures or new traditions, finding ways to acknowledge their memory can bring moments of comfort and connection during this time of year.
At The Children’s Room, we know how difficult the holiday season can be for grieving families. However your family chooses to honor your person, know that we are here to support you.
