What It Means to Be Understood
by Luca
When my mom first suggested I join a group at The Children’s Room, I wasn’t exactly interested. I didn’t know what to expect, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about my dad with people I didn’t know. He died when I was two years old, so I didn’t have any memories of him, and for most of my life, I hadn’t talked much about it.
Still, I gave it a try.
I remember being nervous before my first group. I didn’t know if anyone else would really understand what I had been through. But that changed quickly. What surprised me most was the sense of community, especially the dinners before each group. Sitting around a table with other teens who had experienced loss made everything feel more relaxed and real. We talked, joked, and ate together. And when it came time for group, I felt more comfortable opening up.
Over time, I kept coming back. The consistency of seeing familiar faces, people I could build connections with, made a huge difference. These weren’t just other teens. They were peers who understood what it felt like to lose a parent. Such understanding is rare, even among family or friends. It’s not that people don’t care. It’s just that unless you’ve gone through it, it’s really hard to explain what it feels like.
Even though my dad died more than a decade before I joined TCR, the group still helped. People sometimes assume grief fades with time, but I’ve learned it doesn’t really work like that. Grief can show up years later, when you least expect it. Being in group gave me a place to deal with those feelings in a healthy way and reminded me that I wasn’t alone in them.
One thing I appreciated about the Teens-Only Group is that it was just for us, without our families there. That space made it easier to be honest. We didn’t have to filter anything or worry about protecting someone else’s emotions. We could just be where we were, and talk about it.
If there’s one thing I’d tell another teen thinking about joining, it’s this: just try it. You don’t have to know exactly how you feel, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. If it doesn’t feel right the first time, that’s okay. You can always come back when you’re ready. But being in a space where people truly get it, where you can talk and be understood without having to explain everything, is something rare. And for me, it made a difference.
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We’re already looking ahead to next year’s programming and welcome anyone who might be looking for connection and understanding.
If you’d like to learn more about how we support teens whether it’s through peer support groups, monthly events, and other opportunities for connection, visit childrensroom.org/support/teens.
